Did you like that cover image? It was my poorly executed vision for this post (haha).
Earlier this year, I was introduced to Enneagrams. When I took the test (10 times to be exact), I found out I was a 2. A strong 2.
From the Enneagram Institute, this is what defines a 2: "We have named personality type Two The Helper because people of this type are either the most genuinely helpful to other people or, when they are less healthy they are the most highly invested in seeing themselves as helpful. Being generous and going out of their way for others makes Twos feel that theirs is the richest, most meaningful way to live. The love and concern they feel—and the genuine good they do—warms their hearts and makes them feel worthwhile. Twos are most interested in what they feel to be the “really, really good” things in life—love, closeness, sharing, family, and friendship.”
It is literally me. To a T. All I want to do is help. This definition helped me with interacting with others. I started thinking about what may define other people. Nobody has one true definition, but this helped me start to think about others even more.
So, I started thinking… what would the Enneagrams of Coaches Wives look like? Every coach’s wife is different but there are definitely some strong distinct personalities.
*Although these numbers are modeled after the EI enneagram numbers, they do not correspond with them. These are specifically for coaches wives or significant others*
Enneagrams of Coaches Wives
1: The Mentor. This group feels pulled to mentor other coaches wives throughout the season. They want to be looked at as a person who knows a lot about this type of life. They strive to grow and help others grow. They have a sense of mission. They advocate for other coaches wives. They want to be a leader. They are sometimes thought of as the “head” of something. They are strong in their purpose.
2. The “Please Let Me Help”. Whether it’s baking every dessert under the sun, holding someone’s baby during the game, helping clean up the field house, or wanting to host every coaches party or position group, The Please Let Me Help group thrives when given the opportunity to help or please others. This group worries about not being needed. They want to serve, they want to host, they want to help. Often, these individuals are looked to for consistency. People know that this individual will be there to help, bake, or care. Being called upon to help makes this group feel genuinely happy and loved.
3. The “Do It All”. This group wants to do it all. They are achievers and thrive when they feel successful and complete. People often look up to these individuals because they give off the complex of being able to do it all. They have multiple different roles and come across as being in these different roles effortlessly. They strive when successful- often looking towards monumental achievements like social media accolades, status symbols, and other visual aspects of success. These individuals love attention, encouragement, and affirmation for their successes. They are people of action and achievement. They are go-getters. This group worries about feeling worthless. They are ones that you can turn to to get things done.
4. The “I’ll Let You Know”. This group of individuals are reserved. They strive on being creative but can also be seen as quiet and reserved. They worry about feeling vulnerable. They want to find themselves in who they are as a coach’s significant other. These individuals enjoy expressing themselves but take time to open up to others. They may often feel uncomfortable being a part of a larger group. They are drawn to one to two people and feel comfort when their chosen people are with them. They sometimes feel that they are different from others. They may feel that they are missing self-confidence. If they are invited to events or activities, they may wait for their comfort person to invite them individually so they have more comfort in attending. Thus, the response, “I’ll let you know.” These individuals do not like to be alone but form a strong bond with a small group of people. They look to this small group for comfort and strength.
5. The “What’s going on around here?”. This group of individuals are questioners. They are curious and like to be informed. They like to know why things are the way they are. They ask questions, they like to find things out themselves, they are researchers. They have great ideas. They like to be known for having great ideas. Their ideas are often outside of the box. They like to have something they do really well. Often, they will be focused on this one thing. Some examples are: DIY projects, baking, genres of books, genres of music, their coach’s team, etc. They know a lot about the specific team they are a part of and they are proud of it. If anyone has a question about the team, this group will answer it.
6. The “Pacer”. This group is the hardest to define. When thought of, this group is the most dedicated to the status of the game. They are the ones that are seen pacing back and forth, biting their nails, head in their hands. They are loyal to the team and to the game. They let the anxiety come over them during the game- often having superstitions. They want people around them and have close relationships but fair best when they are able to show their emotional reactions freely. They want to feel secure. When the game is going the way this group wants, they feel confident and secure, but when the game is not going that way, that is when they feel the strong emotional reactions. Either way, this group has a wide range of emotional reactions. They are very loyal to the team, to their friends, and to others.
7. The “Woo Girl”. This group contains individuals who are very spirited. They have the shirts, the cowbells, the pom poms, and the fun-loving cheerleader spirit. These are the individuals you will hear cheering loud and proud on Friday nights. They can often come across as scattered in their thoughts, but love to keep busy. They are the ones that talk to anyone who is near them. They are optimistic- looking on the sunny side of the game. They are the ones that when something negative happens, they say “That’s okay. Keep trying! We can do this!” They do need a friend who will be there to be the sound and reasoning body in decisions. They are the cheerleaders of life- always fun to be around and always the life of the party.
8. The “Veteran”. This group contains individuals who have been around the block when it comes to this life. From the outside person, these individuals are strong and self-confident. They have often been a coach’s wife for years…like many many years. They have many experiences. They like to be challenged especially by others. They feel happiest when taking on challenges and leaving their mark on the world. These individuals are known by people from all over. They leave their mark everywhere they go. They have connections and know many people. If you need something, they will often know a friend of a friend of a friend who can help you out. They are independent and are confident in how they think. They often will not give in to other pressures from other people to change their thinking.
9. The “Prayer Partner”. This group of individuals are known for their spiritual beliefs. They come across to others as peaceful and willing to listen. This group could coincide with any other grouping. They look to spiritual guidance for all issues and and seek peace in the power of prayer. Occasionally, this group does not have a strong sense of identity, instead looking towards their spiritual beliefs to be their identity. These individuals are ones people can come to to feel calm. They are grounded in the real world and enjoy connecting with others. They want others to feel their spiritual connection. These individuals do not want to cause conflict. They want to focus on others and learn more about them. They want to share in their spiritual identities. They do like to find simple solutions to life’s problems. They will often look to the spiritual connections to help them solve more complex problems. They are excellent partners for every number as they are supportive and encouraging.
Which number are you? Are you a mix of multiple numbers? Did you find that your normal enneagram number matches your coach's wife number?
I've been blessed to have friendships with someone in each number. It's important to have such a wide variety of friends that surround you and support you. You are not defined by your number but it sure is a conversation starter!