The definition of a soulmate is pretty simple: “a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.” (Oxford Languages) Although the definition is simple, the idea is complex. I decided to Google characteristics of a soulmate and honestly most of the responses were about the romance side. Let’s twist those shall we?
About four years ago, I was introduced to my Coach’s Wife Soulmate (CWS). She had been a Coach’s significant other for awhile and they had been at the current school for a year. Our relationship grew throughout the season. I actually lived two hours away and only drove up for games. She welcomed me with open arms. She had me come to her house when I drove up so we could hang out before games. She poured into me. She took the time to get to know me. She listened to me. I didn’t know it my first year, but she was going to be my soulmate.
You see, relationships sometimes take time to build. Ours was no different- probably due to the fact that our first year together was long distance. It sounds like an actual relationship! Our friendship didn’t truly take off until I moved up closer in May of 2018. She ended up being my matron of honor in June 2019. I sat in the hospital waiting room one week later while she gave birth to her second baby. I spent the night in the hospital two days later with her when her husband needed to get home to take care of their son. We’ve cried together, laughed together, been the mean girls together, and held each other accountable for actions. I wouldn’t change a thing.
I wouldn’t make it through this life without her.
When you look up characteristics of a soulmate on Google, there are some consistencies across websites. There are so many similarities when we talk about a CWS and just your run-of-the-mill soulmate. Here are just a few that stuck out to me as I did my research:
It’s Something Inside: It’s hard to describe your friendship. Are you best friends? Are you sisters? When your husband talks about you both, does he have a hard time describing your relationship? Your relationship is not defined by a singular word or phrase. Your relationship/friendship is unique and only you know what that means.
You Just Get Each Other: There is nothing like a friendship where you can show up with minimal notice, sit on the couch, and not say a word…and you know exactly what is going on! You can give each other a look and know what each other needs. Life is simpler when you are together. Things feel good. (Secretly, you may feel more comfortable hanging with her than your husband...but shhhhh! Don't tell my husband!)
You Love Each Other Even Through Flaws: Have you seen each other at your most vulnerable state? How can you feel comfortable without knowing each others life struggles and past struggles? Being comfortable and simultaneously uncomfortable is so important in friendships like these. You should feel comfortable enough for your CWS to call you out on things but also understanding she may put you in uncomfortable situations. That is life and it is so honorable to have someone that can simultaneously put you in comfortable and uncomfortable situations.
You Feel Secure and Protected: You know your secrets are safe with her. She will protect you in any situation. Your husband decides to sass you? No worries, she’ll be right there next to you telling him what’s up. She speaks up for you and you speak up for her. You understand each other. You can both feel emotions freely without worrying about judgment. In fact, judgment is nothing to worry about in your relationship. You love each other for flaws and strengths.
You Can’t Live Your Life Without Her: can you think about your life without your soulmate? Can you picture a life when you didn’t have her in it? There's no way I could live without my CWS. Although we may be separate, she takes care of me like nobody could. She cannot be replaced.
You see, your soulmate changes you. She makes you a better person all the while supporting your ways. Life is better with her. Though life may take you on separate paths, you are thankful for your connection with your CWS because she will always be your constant. You may worry she'll find someone new, but no worries, she will always be there with you-doesn't matter if you're minutes away or hours away.
My soulmate is the complete opposite of me not only physically, but in all aspects of her personality. She may be shorter, blonde, and one of the most gorgeous people on this planet. But she's also smart, witty, quick to speak up for her friends, and one of the best moms I've ever seen. I am larger, taller, brunette, quiet, and reserved. She brings out my personality. She makes me a better person and I will forever be thankful for her.
Some people say they are thankful for their husband and the friends they have met in their time. I am thankful for my coach's wife soulmate (CWS) because without her, I'd be lost. I would not be the person or coach's wife I am.
Thank You CWS. I love you!
